singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
