the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My liver just had a heart attack.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
