I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Is it penis luge time yet?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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