Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She's the barista slut.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
