Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You were trust falling into bushes
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
