PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
