Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
