Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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