2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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