Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
