I need help removing her.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize