I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
