can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
