I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
