i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
