no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize