I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
