remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize