when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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