stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
