I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
