I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
