My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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