There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Can I color on your dick again?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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