I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
