Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
