I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
