I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Don't make out with my wife yet
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Randomize
