my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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