there's paper in my vomit.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize