and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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