still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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