If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
