I love black thongs
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize