Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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