I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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