do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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