She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
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