just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
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I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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