Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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