found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
