Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
