Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
