I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
