Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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