she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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