Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
