I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
