carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
