Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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