Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I would ride that face into the sunset
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
So here I am, sexting at work.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
