oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
