I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
