If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize