her vagine was all disorganized.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize