are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
