HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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