The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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