you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
