It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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