Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
