You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment