if you like me you must not know who I am
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance