I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
